AM I ALLOWED TO LET GO OF SHAME?
When we are able to view our behaviours as more complex and dynamic than just the reactions of a ‘bad person’, we give ourselves the opportunity to examine the whys and the hows and to develop resources for change. In order to make changes in our lives and in ourselves, we must first believe that we are worthy and capable of such change.
I recently experienced a shame response to an innocent comment made by a colleague of mine. She mentioned that my shirt, which I was quite proud of finding at a local Op Shop the day before, was the same one her mother recently wore to a wedding. Although I could be forgiven for feeling a little put out by the comparison to the fashion choices of a woman 30 years my senior, the reaction I had was very strong and immediate.
RAISING NON-MATERIALISTIC CHILDREN IN A MATERIAL WORLD
Jacinta Francis MD, Guest Author for OnFamily
As published in In The Neighborhood – Psychology Today.
“So what can we do if we want to teach our children to live a less materialistic life? Suggestions include limiting exposure to advertisements, minimising the importance of possessions, educating children about the techniques employed by advertisers, and teaching children about other sources of happiness, such as friendships and play.”
The last few weeks have seen me embark on a clutter clearing frenzy. As I work to eliminate the clutter from my home, filling our rubbish bins and donation boxes to their brim, I can’t help but consider the meaning our society attaches to material objects and how this impacts happiness. So, following another weekend of sorting through piles of “stuff”, I began to explore the published literature on materialism and life satisfaction.
SOCIAL MEDIA AND PARENTING; DO WE WANT TO BE ‘FRIENDS’ WITH OUR CHILDREN?
“Studies have shown that parents who are able to enter the ‘social media world’ of their children in a supportive and non-invasive way increase the sense of connectedness between themselves and their adolescents.”
Recently I read that one of my favourite outspoken actors, Stephen Fry, had decided to cease using his Twitter account amidst ‘fears for his safety’ whilst shooting his current film. This will, undoubtedly dismay his some 7.8million Tweet followers, but it lead me to consider why he needed to take such a drastic media measure. Surely Mr Fry could continue to send updates to us, his adoring fans, without compromising his safety?
DISCIPLINE AS A LEARNING TOOL, NOT A PUNISHMENT.
Discipline is not punishment. It is a learning tool, used to encourage socially acceptable behaviour, with the goal of self-responsibility. In order to provide effective discipline, we must be disciplined ourselves, and provide learning which is consistent in the form of consequences which are relevant to the behaviour.
Whenever the media reports incidences of a parent publicly ‘disciplining’ a child, it creates a divide between child safety advocates who stand strongly in support of the child’s rights to safety and security, and parents who can identify with the sense of powerlessness, shame and anger when attempting to stop or change a child’s difficult behaviour. Recent incidents reported in the media sparked me to write this blog to outline some safer, and far more effective, means of discipline for parents who may be struggling.
YOUTH WORK IN CONTEXT.
As published in Community Training Australia SW Magazine.
‘It is amazing how it seems to be totally acceptable – even institutionalised – to parody and demonise them. We laugh at things that mock teenagers, but if you applied those sorts of jokes to any other sector of society, it just wouldn’t be acceptable.’ (Dr Sarah-Jayne Blakely 2012)
The history of youth is fascinating. The changing social and political environments have both influenced, and been influenced by, young people for generations. The youth arena is a dynamic and ever changing environment, and it is important that we can maintain an eagle-eye view of the impacts on our young people today, and work holistically with them as individuals as well as a group.